Self Change

 “It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.” – Jane Austen

 

This is the quote for this week in my Passion Planner and what a perfect time to be confronted with it. Over the last few days, I have been having some heavy self-talk over something I have noticed about myself lately.

I have been getting angry, unjustifiably so, at people doing certain things. And I must admit to myself, it is not them I should be angry at. I should be angry at myself.

I’m angry at them because they are reminders of things, I should be doing myself, or they are being the Person I Want To Be. And that is not on them, that is on me.

Things I Am Angry At Myself For:

1. I do not use my time effectively. Some days I come out of my room, sit at my computer desk, and do not leave it all day even though there are moments where all I am doing is clicking from one site to the next, trying to find something to focus on.

2.  I do not walk my dog nearly as often as he deserves.

3.  I do not try creating things as much as I want to.

4.   I do not take better care of myself

    These things could all be turned into “I do” statements, but I have to put in the work to make that change.

Achievement Done: 42km Charity Walk

 42km charity walk completed in just under 10 hours (I am a slow walker).

I bumped the XP for this walk in my Quest for Adventure. The walk was entirely worth going up a level.

 

My journey began at roughly 8:15pm on Saturday after a speech from Adam Gilchrist (Australian ex-cricketer and ambassador of the charity this was for) and a Welcome to Country from a lady whose name escapes me but it was a very nice Welcome to Country and I kinda wish I'd memorised her name.

 

As we left the starting area people stood to the sides and cheered us which was nice. It was a common theme throughout the race actually - strangers walking by would find out what was going on from people ahead of me and as we passed them they would cheer us on.

At first, things were easy. I overtook a lot of people and during the first two pit stops only stopped to grab something to eat before continuing onwards.

The distance between the second and third pit stop was difficult. Apparently it was a longer distance than the first two had between each other and I definitely felt it. Also, a lot of people I had overtaken in the beginning now began to overtake me. What would happen though was we would then get to the next pit stop and because I didn't hang around for long I would get ahead of them resulting in a lot of lovely "oh hello, fancy seeing you again!" moments. Many people checked in with me as they passed me to make sure I was okay (solo walkers seemed rare) which was nice.

 

When I got towards the finish line I was overwhelmed. I had to keep blinking back tears and I'm afraid some people probably thought I was miserable as they congratulated me when I passed them by but really I was just very proud of myself.

 

I rarely finish the things I set out to do. It's something I still need to work on. And here I am, with my level of fitness (another thing to work on) completing a 42km marathon walk in just under 10 hours by myself.

 

If I could do this, if my body could do this, I can do anything.

 

 

Also, I found out at the end we get medals for finishing and we all know I like shiny reward items.

Year in Review & The Year Ahead - 2020-2021

Wow, what a sucker punch of a year, hey.

When writing my year review at the start of 2020 I could have never guessed how different life would look for most of the world at the end of it.

I have been utterly blessed with living in a) Australia b) Perth when it comes to government responses to COVID. Here's hoping to a new year filled with more opportunities to connect face to face with people.

SCA


What have you done that is new?
I made arrows! It's about the only SCA related thing I did this year.

What was the best moment?
Having pretty arrows :P

What was the worst moment?
For the second year in a row it's seeing the evidence of others personal conflicts. Seeing people so unkind and argumentative doesn't encourage me to return.

Have you held an office this year? 
Nope

Have you run anything this year? 
Nope

Have you entered anything this year?
Nope

What have you made this year?
6 arrows.

Who inspired me?
Andy for putting up with a lot of shit.

What new things would you like to do next year?
Last years response is this years response: More garb. More embroidery. More A&S entries. More events. Give me more!

Everyday


What single achievement are you most proud of?
Survived 2020.

What did you set out to accomplish this year that you didn't make happen?
University. Between the pandemic and changes within the workplace it became the better option for me to defer for a year. Looking forward to returning in 2021, in a different course as well.

What new places did you go in 2020?
Technically the university was a new place, somewhat, for me? Otherwise the pandemic put this on hold.

What new skills did you learn?
A little bit of coding. Have definitely improved on interpersonal conversations.

What was your favourite book?
It's another same answer as last year. I reread more Tamora Pierce this year and also reread Richelle Mead's Bloodlines series.

What was your favourite electronic game?
Favourite new game is a toss up between Among Us and Fall Guys. My RimWorld addiction has also returned.

What was your favourite non-electronic game?
I think the only non-electronic game we've played was Cossacks.

What was the best moment?
That period of time where my mental and physical health were getting on point and I spent two weeks wondering if this is how good everyone else normally is.

What was the worst moment?
When my friends group broke up.

If you had to describe 2020 in three words, what would they be?
Glad it's over.

2021


What do you want to see, discover, explore? Last years response because nothing ever happened: explore more places in Perth. Go on my SA trip to cage dive with sharks.

Who do you want to spend more time with? JACs.

What skills do you want to learn, improve or master? Embroidery, sewing, writing, weightlifting, Danish, university study, hiking.

Which habits do you want to change, cultivate or get rid of? Cultivate the habit of forward planning and sticking to my goals.

What do you want to achieve career-wise? Focus more on writing. When I'm at work I'm at work. 

What is your number one goal for 2021? Passing uni with high grades.

June 101 in 1001: I Did A Few Things

I nearly forgot to update and it's 11pm, so this is just a quick update to say that in the past month I:

- Made my own cheese
- Streamed
- Read 1 book

Not much progress, but it was something!

May 2020 101 in 1001 Update: New Beginnings

As my life begins to calm down I once again find myself returning to my goals and plans and enjoy looking forward to the future.

UPDATES ON THE REMAINING GOALS (13 CURRENTLY COMPLETED)

1. Finish my Games List (or at least 155 games, the original number)

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how many games I own now but I'd say it's over 200. I still want to focus on finishing off old games but I'll be impressed if I get through 155 in with 667 days left (one game every 4.3 days? Hmmm)

2. Get a Sim family from Gen 1 to Gen 10

Sims 4 has held little to no appeal to me in the face of other games lately. I don't see this as being a goal that I'm interested in focusing on, which also means...

3. Complete the Sims 4 Rags to Riches Challenge

... that this challenge is unlikely to be completed as well.
In the face of so many other games to play, Sims 4 just doesn't get me invested anymore.
I could probably look at doing something like these challenges when Paralives comes out but that's not going to be out before the end of this list.

4. Do a vegan runthrough of RimWorld where at least one colonist gets off the planet

I believe my vegan colony is pretty well situated and will likely get off the planet soon, if I actually play them.

5. Stream 100 times

So, I've streamed 5 times since this list started. 95 times to go, over 667 days means I'd have to stream at least once a week... looks, it's not IMPOSSIBLE, it's just SUPER UNLIKELY. But hey, we'll see.

6. Replace my keyboard and mouse

This isn't actually hard to do, I just need to find a new keyboard that I like. Definitely going wireless though. And now I want new monitors as well >.> And stands for them....

8. Attend an RFLAN

As soon as they announce new dates, I am there!

9. Create my own computer game

This is going to be on hold for a little bit while I focus on other things but I'm sure I can put something together.

10. Build my own website

Well, now I'm wondering... WHY do I feel like I need a website? At the moment I have no use for one so this goal might not get completed.

11. Hit within the yellow circle of an archery target 5 times.

I so cannot wait for archery training to be back on. Hopefully my wrist will be up to the task!

12. Make 5 items that my SCA persona, Margarita/Margareta, would wear.

I've actually been unpicking my old garb so I can repair it but I should probably get a wriggle on and start this one soon.

13. Become an authorised combat archer in the SCA

This is still something I would like to do but it's not on my priority goal list right now.

14. Make the poles for my canvas tent or get rid of it

At the start of this list I was leaning towards getting rid of it. Now I'm wondering if I should keep it... I need to find the pole dimensions list and start pricing things.

15. Enter an A&S competition

Waiting for events to start back up

16. Brew alcohol

Before my next update I will have AT LEAST cleaned my container for this.

17. Make Felicia Day's outfit in Do You Wanna Date My Avatar

I still REALLY REALLY want to do this. But, I also want to be in a physically healthier position to wear it.

18. Make a piece of clothing for myself that's not SCA related

I'm thinking a skirt. Or maybe a non-SCA apron for me. Haven't made a decision. Or maybe those moose pj's that will never get made ever.

19. Make 1 thing from the Danish renaissance cookbook

So, I actually started translating a recipe! It's for an apple tart :)

20. Make my own cheese

.... in a spur of the moment kind of thing, I'm going to make it these weekend! Just decided XD

21. Grow sunflowers

I will have to wait for the summer!

22. Grow a herb garden

Still on the list but my sisters kinda taken over herb growing and... it's hard to have interest when I feel like I'd just be overridden on my choices.

23. 365 Days of Haiku

Yeah, this is never happening

24. Use my Thermomix 32 times

I'm up to three times! I need to try some new recipes though.

25. Create a piece of woodwork

This one's on the backburner in favour of other projects at this point.

26. Finish/help finish my sister apron

It's a long weekend so I might get this one done.

27. Go to Bali

<Insert shrug emoji>

28. Spend the night in Perth city

Definitely not happening any time soon - too cold!

30. Go non-SCA camping

Well now that I have a NEW CAR, this is a lot more likely. Car camping counts, right?

31. Visit 5 parks in WA

2/5! We went to Reg Bond for my sisters birthday

32. Visit a cave in another state

If I get lucky and restrictions are lifted and all good, I'm going to SA for the holidays and I'll do this there.

33. Cage dive with sharks

See previous comment :P

34. Cross 2 items off my wine list

I'm in progress on this one - I know I've drank some new ones, I just need to add them in.

35. Cross 10 items off my meat list

Nothing new on this one, still in progress

36. Make a toasted spaghetti sandwich

I need to ask my parents if I can borrow their sandwich press

37. Eat at Alfred's Kitchen

<Insert JUST FUCKING DO IT gif>

38. Go to a degustation restaurant

On the list, just no a focus

40. Go vegetarian for a week

Don't know when this one is going to happen, it's going to need some careful planning.

43. Create a signature cocktail for myself

I'll get there some day. Should be something sweet and spicy!

44. Climb to the top of an indoor rock wall

Need to build the upper body strength first.

45. Weight under 65kg

*laughs in quarantine*

47. Do a 70kg back squat
48. Do a 50kg bench press
49. Do a 70kg deadlift

Well, now that my wrist is much improved, I should be able to start working on these goals. It was actually one of the things I was gonna look at this weekend actually.

50. Finish Zombies, Run Couch to 5k
51. Finish Zombies Run! Season 1

It's cold, it's rainy. I don't think these ones are gonna happen until the weather improves.

53. Do a handstand

Not my top fitness goal right now, but still something I'd like to do.

54. Go rollerskating five times

Once restrictions are lifted I might go to some sessions at the Rollerdome.

55. Ride my bike 10 times

So, one of the wheels is completely busted and needs replacing. On the schedule, just for when it's warmer.

56. Read 50 new books

Uhh... yeah.... I should get back to this.

57. Complete Duolingo Danish Course

I was going well and then my mood kinda changed and I was only doing the least amount of training. I'd like to regain my enthusiasm please.

58. Finish writing a novel

I should have made this "start a novel" because I haven't even done that part at this stage.

59. Read all the books I own, but currently haven't read

>.> Okay, well excuse me for one second while I go pick a book... alright, we will have read Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian by the end of next month.

60. What every Cunts favourite movie

Haven't watched any more since the last update.

61. Read every Cunts favourite book

Started this, I have not.

62. Fill a standard sized notebook with a journal

Not a lot of personal writing going on here I'm afraid.

63. Honestly KonMari everything - with minimalism in mind

I am trying!

64. Listen to 50 TED Talks

Jeez, why did I pick that I had to listen to so many?
I will say that I'm definitely more aware of how the next list shall be written.

65. Have six months of expenses saved

I honestly probably had this, but then I bought a new car. Onwards, we keep saving!

66. Han in 70% of uni assignments the day before they are due each semester

Ahahahahahahahaha

67. Complete an Inktober

This may actually be able to happen this year as I'm no longer attending uni.

68. Win NaNoWriMo

Same as the previous entry, I may have the time to complete this one this year.

72. Take a non-uni related class

Not a priority right now.

73. Go to the dentist
74. Get a pap smear

Nope.

75. Try meditation

Still nope.

77. Make a serious attempt at using an m cup

I have it, just need to try getting it to work.

78. Edit my sisters book and return it to her

I still need to pick this one up.

82. Watch a local theatre production

When the quarantine ends :)

83. Have an empty mending basket

Oh hey, this is something I should be doing while there's a quarantine on, hey?

85. Sleep under the stars

Mmm some day when it's warmer :P

86. Get a professional massage

I am feeling the need for this right now.

87. Totally unplug for 24 hours

I'll probably try doing this at an SCA event I think.

88. Own a fountain pen I enjoy writing with

Not a priority right now.

90. Shoot a gun

Still to do

91. Go to a sauna

Need to find a sauna.



... going to leave this off here so I can get this entry in!

April 2020: 101 in 1001 Non-Update

COVID-19 fucked with my life plans.

Currently back to work full time and am going to have to readjust university.

At least I might be able to do Nano and the creative one this year?

March 2020 Coronavirus 101 in 1001 Update

Well hey guys...

Is a pandemic reason enough to have nothing much to report?
Surprisingly I actually crossed some items off!
We are now at 13 complete, 19 in progress.

Goal		Comments
1		Finish my Games List (or at least 155 games, the original number)		In progress, but lets be honest we'll all be surprised if this happens.
2		Get a Sim family from Gen 1 to Gen 10		Still on Gen 1 with no babies in sight - but at least I have a partner!
3		Complete the Sims 4 Rags to Riches Challenge		Haven't begun yet.
4		Do a vegan runthrough of RimWorld where at least one colonist gets off the planet		Actually going pretty well - we're about halfway through the technology tree and pretty self sufficient.
5		Stream 100 times		I would have to stream nearly once every 8 days to complete this. Possible to do, but maybe not with everything else going on.
6		Replace my keyboard and mouse		Mouse has been replaced! Now just need to find a keyboard I like.
7		Get a boom for my mic		Completed!
8		Attend an RFLAN		Had plans to attend RFLAN 66 but COVID-19 said no.
9		Create my own computer game		Technically I have started this because I did a "create a game" workshop. Woo, progress!
10		Build my own website		Haven't begun yet.
11		Hit within the yellow circle of an archery target 5 times		Considering COVID-19, I'd say this isn't happening this year either.
12		Make 5 items that my SCA persona, Margarita / Margareta, would wear		I have done precisely zero things.
13		Become an authorised combat archer in the SCA		I'm not sure if this is still a goal for me.
14		Make the poles for my canvas tent or get rid of it		Undecided now about getting rid of my tend.
15		Enter an A&S competition		Let's see if I can get back into the SCA first hey.
16		Brew alcohol		Haven't begun yet.
17		Make Felicia Day's outfit in Do You Wanna Date My Avatar		Haven't begun yet.
18		Make a piece of clothing for myself that's not SCA related		No idea what I'm going to make. Maybe finally make the moose pyjamas?
19		Make 1 thing from the Danish renaissance cookbook		Haven't begun yet.
20		Make my own cheese		My sister got me a cheese kit - I need to follow up and actually make the cheese though.
21		Grow sunflowers		Seeds are here, I am lazy.
22		Grow a herb garden		Seeds are here, I am lazy.
23		365 Days of Haiku		Failed
24		Use my Thermomix 32 times		I've made curried eggs twice!
25		Create a piece of woodwork		Have an idea, need to source wood.
26		Finish/help finish my sisters apron		Still hasn't been done. I'm not the best sister :P
27		Go to Bali		Hmmm… maybe not during this list.
28		Spend the night in Perth city		Still need to plan this.
29		Go to Rottnest		I went for my birthday! It was nice but a reminder that I need to plan my holidays so I'm doing things + Rottnest shouldn't be a "holiday" destination.
30		Go non-SCA camping		I need to find camping buddies.
31		Visit 5 parks in WA		I visited one! Went on a date to Bells Rapids Park
32		Visit a cave in another state		Planning to do this on a trip to SA
33		Cage dive with sharks		Planning to do this on a trip to SA
34		Cross 2 items off my wine list		I have drunk one of the wines... I think it's Spain I've crossed off?
35		Cross 10 items off my meat list		Tried escargot and rabbit. 8 more to go!
36		Make a toasted spaghetti sandwich		I don't know why this is so hard for me to complete.
37		Eat at Alfred's Kitchen		I don't know why this is so hard for me to complete. Especially now that I've learned they do deliveries.
38		Go to a degustation restaurant		Need to find a good one within the budget.
39		Give up coffee for a month		Completed!
40		Go vegetarian for a week		Not sure when I'm going to complete this one - would need to plan ahead with meals for it to work for me.
41		Enjoy a margarita and margherita together		Completed!
42		No junk food for a month		Completed!
43		Create a signature cocktail for myself		Need to try more cocktails
44		Climb to the top of an indoor rock wall		Work on upper body strength first, then think about this.
45		Weight under 65kg		Got to get back on the health eating and doing exercise bandwagon
46		Eat my calorie limit (or under) for 30 days in a row		Completed!
47		Do a 70kg back squat		Got to get back on the health eating and doing exercise bandwagon
48		Do a 50kg bench press		Got to get back on the health eating and doing exercise bandwagon
49		Do a 70kg deadlift		Got to get back on the health eating and doing exercise bandwagon
50		Finish Zombies, Run Couch to 5k		A run a day keeps COVID-19 away!
51		Finish Zombies Run! Season 1		Got to get back on the health eating and doing exercise bandwagon
52		Do the remaining 9 CrossFit sessions mom paid for		Calling it completed - I got to 8 before my wrist conked out and now my profile has been deactivated.
53		Do a handstand		Need to have my wrist at 100% first.
54		Go rollerskating five times		Put the rollerskates back on Pure!
55		Ride my bike 10 times		Maintain bike. Ride bike. Two things I must do.
56		Read 50 new books		I used to read so much. Got to get back to it.
57		Complete Duolingo Danish course		Was on top of Danish at the start of the year and it's fallen off again. We'll get there!
58		Finish writing a novel		This should have been "actually start a novel" XD
59		Read all the books I own, but currently haven't read		You don't have to read the books if you get rid of them and therefore don't own them *taps temple*
60		Watch every Cunts favourite movie		I've only watched one, need to watch more.
61		Read every Cunts favourite book		Haven't read any of these. I should start so I can knock off these and read 50 new books.
62		Fill a standard sized notebook with a journal		Standard sized notebook bought, ready for 2020 along with a Passion Planner.
63		Honestly KonMari everything - with minimalism in mind		I've been decluttering but not KonMari-ing. That'll come later.
64		Listen to 50 TED Talks		1/50 completed. 49 to go! If I make it a habit to watch one a week, this would be done by the end of 2020…
65		Have six months of expenses saved		Need to figure out what six months of expenses is, then work on this.
66		Hand in 70% of uni assignments the day before they are due each semester		*laughs*
67		Complete an Inktober		We'll see, not likely to happen due to uni.
68		Win NaNoWriMo		We'll see, not likely to happen due to uni.
69		Update YNAB and keep it updated for three months		Failed - I got rid of YNAB, as it wasn't working for me.
70		Create a "Household Control" file so I can get rid of my filing cabinet		I have the file, it just needs organising better.
71		Join a club at uni		I'd forgotten this was a goal! I joined four :)
72		Take a non-uni related class		No idea what to do for this one. Maybe woodworking, to get skills to make my woodworking piece?
73		Go to the dentist		Still to be done
74		Get a pap smear		Still to be done
75		Try meditation		Haven't started this yet
76		Complete and pass UniReady		Completed!
77		Make a serious attempt at using an m cup		Haven't started this yet
78		Edit my sisters book and return it to her		Plan to do this for her birthday this year.
79		Write a letter to myself to be opened when the 1001 days is over		Completed!
80		Update my online blog once a month		Going well so far.
81		Take one photo each month of the list		Let's go with failed
82		Watch a local theatre production		Still to do this
83		Have an empty mending basket		Haven't done any mending yet.
84		Do 365 days of selfies		Failed
85		Sleep under the stars		Still to do this
86		Get a professional massage		Need to book this in.
87		Totally unplug for 24 hours		Still to do this
88		Own a fountain pen I enjoy writing with		Haven't researched fountain pens yet.
89		Have a beer while laying on my back in the shower, feet straight up in the air		Completed!
90		Shoot a gun		Need to book this in.
91		Go to a sauna		Need to find a place with a sauna.
92		Find out if I can become an egg donor and if yes, do it		I got the email information, I just need to book this in.
93		Have a party for my 30th birthday		*laughs in COVID-19*
94		Use Hamster's present to me at least once		Still to find a cord for this
95		Put together the R2D2 figures I have		Still to do this
96		Escape an escape room		Still to do this
97		Use the teapot my mom gave me		Still to do this
98		Listen to live music		Watched Sheppard! Completed :)
99		Go indoor skydiving		Still to do this
100		Go canoeing or kayaking		Still to do this
101		Watch the Marvel movies and shows in chronological order		Finding it hard to get Agent Carter online… may have to suffer the Disney + cost.